Cheyenne, 40 Years Old, Jostled But Fulfilled-0... [SAFE - 2027]
It’s a different kind of full than the sugar-rush vibrance of my twenties. Back then, fulfillment was a destination I was sprinting toward. Now, it’s found in the friction. It’s in the chaotic laughter over a burnt dinner. It’s the deep, steady exhale after a long day when the house is finally silent. It’s knowing exactly who I am, even if who I am is currently a bit tired and covered in coffee stains.
Cheyenne, 40 years old, jostled but fulfilled. The number 40 used to feel like a cliff. A sharp, jagged edge where youth supposedly goes to die. But standing here now, it feels less like an ending and more like a messy, beautiful middle. I am "jostled"—there is no other word for it. My schedule is a collision of school runs, deadlines, and the persistent hum of a to-do list that never quite sleeps. My joints have started a small, rhythmic protest in the mornings. My heart carries the weight of friends lost, dreams pivoted, and the quiet realization that time is no longer an infinite resource. Yet, I am fulfilled. Cheyenne, 40 years old, jostled but fulfilled-0...
Forty hasn’t brought the "settled" life the magazines promised. It brought a life that is loud, crowded, and occasionally overwhelming. But as I look at the gray hairs appearing like silver threads of wisdom in the mirror, I realize I wouldn’t trade this jostled reality for a pristine, empty version of myself. I am exactly where I need to be: right in the thick of it. It’s a different kind of full than the
“The problem is that the game’s designers have made promises on which the AI programmers cannot deliver; the former have envisioned game systems that are simply beyond the capabilities of modern game AI.”
This is all about Civ 5 and its naval combat AI, right? I think they just didn’t assign enough programmers to the AI, not that this was a necessary consequence of any design choice. I mean, Civ 4 was more complicated and yet had more challenging AI.
Where does the quote from Tom Chick end and your writing begin? I can’t tell in my browser.
I heard so many people warn me about this parabola in Civ 5 that I actually never made it over the parabola myself. I had amazing amounts of fun every game, losing, struggling, etc, and then I read the forums and just stopped playing right then. I didn’t decide that I wasn’t going to like or play the game any more, but I just wasn’t excited any more. Even though every game I played was super fun.
“At first I don’t like it, so I’m at the bottom of the curve.”
For me it doesn’t look like a parabola. More like a period. At first I don’t like it, so I don’t waste my time on it and go and play something else. Period. =)
The AI can’t use nukes? NOW you tell me!
The example of land units temporarily morphing into naval units to save the hassle of building transports is undoubtedly a great ideas; however, there’s still plenty of room for problems. A great example would be Civ5. In the newest installment, once you research the correct technology, you can move land units into water tiles and viola! You got a land unit in a boat. Where they really messed up though was their feature of only allowing one unit per tile and the mechanic of a land unit losing all movement for the rest of its turn once it goes aquatic. So, imagine you are planning a large, amphibious invasion consisting of ten units (in Civ5, that’s a very large force). The logistics of such a large force work in two extreme ways (with shades of gray). You can place all ten units on a very large coast line, and all can enter ten different ocean tiles on the same turn — basically moving the line of land units into a line of naval units. Or, you can enter a single unit onto a single ocean tile for ten turns. Doing all ten at once makes your land units extremely vulnerable to enemy naval units. Doing them one at a time creates a self-imposed choke point.
Most players would probably do something like move three units at a time, but this is besides the point. My point is that Civ5 implemented a mechanic for the sake of convenience but a different mechanic made it almost as non-fun as building a fleet of transports.
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